Quotes

Joey: how you doing?

Chandler: All right, look, look. What did... what did you get for Angela Delveccio for her birthday?
Joey: She didn't have a birthday while we were going out.
Chandler: For three years?

Joey: Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
[Chandler looks at the bag]
Chandler: Yes, it is... at Office Max

Rachel: How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?

Joey: There's no juice for the people who need the juice and want the juice and I need the juice!

Chandler: Because, Phoebe, sometimes after you sleep with someone you have to kill a fish.

Phoebe: Soap Opera Digest! That's one of my favorite digests!

Joey: Is Phoebe here with the cab yet? Chandler: Yeah, she brought the invisible cab. Jump in!

Monica: Do you ever think about the future? Richard: Yeah, I think about the future. Monica: Am I in it? Richard: You are my future. Monica: Honey, you are about to get so lucky

Tag: Phoebe? Wow... that's a great name. Phoebe: Oh you like that? You should hear my phone number...

Joey: All you have to do is pretend to be Mike. Mike: I am Mike. Joey: Attaboy.

[In Vegas, Ross and Rachel are drunk in their hotel room] Rachel: [Picking up the phone] Hello? Vegas? Yes, we would like some more alcohol, and you know, we would like some more beers too... hello? Oh wait... I forgot to dial! [There is a knock at the door] Ross: That must be our alcohol and beers

[In Vegas, Phoebe is annoyed by a 'lurker'] Phoebe: Everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk right behind you, and I'll be on your ass every hour of every day... until Monday... coz that's when I leave. When do you leave? Lurker: Also Monday. Phoebe: What time? Maybe we can share a cab!

Ross: Don't you want a washboard stomach and rock-hard abs? Chandler: No! I want a flabby gut and saggy man-breasts

Monica: Whose little ball of paper is this? Chandler: Oh, it's mine. I wrote a not to myself, and then I realized I didn't need, so I balled it up... [notices Monica's angry glare] Chandler: And now I wish I was dead

Ross: I love marriage. Phoebe: Seriously? You?... Divorce-O?

Joey: She's so great. She kisses like my mom cooks. Monica: I am so glad you said "cooks".

Joey: In my spare time I... uh... read to the blind. And I'm also a Mento for the kids. You know, a mento... a role model. Interviewer: A Mento? Joey: Right. Interviewer: Like the candy? Joey: Matter of fact, I do.

Chandler: I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Joey: So, what, you just want to stay here and wait for Rachel to come back from her date? Ross: Yeah. I mean, this guy could be my baby's stepfather. Joey: They go out on one date and you worry about her marrying him? He's not you!

[On living alone] Joey: I thought it'd be great, you know? have some time alone with my thoughts...turns out, I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think!

[After hearing about Chandlers breakup with Janice] Phoebe: Where's Chandler? Joey: He's grieving. [We see Chandler running outside] Chandler: I'M FREE! I AM FREE!

Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing... Your parents never gave you a chance.

Phoebe: [about Ross] I'm trying not to be mad at him, but man that guy can push my buttons! Monica: Why are so mad at him? Phoebe: Look, I don't wanna talk about it. Okay? Monica: Well, it just seems that- Phoebe: You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking! Has anyone seen my list by the way? Chandler: Uh, no Pheebs. What's it look like? Phoebe: It's a piece of paper and it says "Ross" on it

[Ross and Chandler have been arm wrestling for a long time] Ross's Date: Wow. They must both be very strong. Joey: Or equally weak.

Eddie: Ok. You want me to move out? Fine. I just want to hear you say it. Chandler: Fine. Eddie I would like you to move out. Eddie: No, that's no good. I want you to say it with your mouth.

Phoebe: You know, Chandler, you being here is the best gift I could ask for Christmas. Chandler: Aww. Thanks Pheebs. Phoebe: Ok, now where's my real present?

Joey: Could i BE wearing anymore clothes

Joey: You cant just give up is that what a dinisour would do?

Phoebe: I'm going to get a coffee. Anybody want anything? Monica: I'll have a latte. Ross: I'll have a blueberry muffin, with a decaf. Chandler: I'll have a bagel with a little- Phoebe: Get it yourself I was just being polite

Rachel: Hey Ben, you know what? When you were a baby, you and I used to do all sorts of stuff together, coz I was your daddy's girlfriend. Ben: But you're not anymore! Rachel: No, no we're not. Ben: Coz you and dad were on a break!

Ross: Hey, Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart? Pheebs? Phoebe: Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart Ross: Hey, I might!

Ross: WE WERE ON A BREAK!!

Rachel: Hey, Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp. Chandler: Neat. I'm gonna die alone! Rachel: Okay, you win.

Monica: Hey. Where's Joey? Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?

[Rachel doesn't take his advice] Joey: Fine! No one ever listens to me! If the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside!

[Rachel is upset about something] Phoebe: It's ok Pheebs. Rachel: Honey, that's your name! Phoebe: Oh! I thought that was just something we called each other.

Phoebe: This is big. No this is huge. No this is like really really... alright what's bigger than huge? Joey: Uh, this? Phoebe: Yeah

Ross: Your money is mine, Green. Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller.

Joey: Sup? So i see you're playing a little Playstation. That's whack. Playstation is whack. Sup with the whack Playstaion, sup? Am I 19 or what? Chandler: Yes on a scale of 1 to 10 on how ridiculous a person can look, you are definitely 19.

Joey: Here it is-our last pizzas together as roommates. Chandler: I wish I'd known you were going to do that. I ordered Chinese. Joey: Oh, well, that's okay. Hey, actually, in a way it's kinda nice. You know, our last dinner together. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors; you, the food of yours.

Phoebe: Come on Ross, you're a paleontologist, dig a little deeper.

Joey: I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man. Chandler: I'm still on my first. I just think you're nice.

[Upon hearing Ross practicing the bagpipe for their wedding] Monica: Why must your family be Scottish? Chandler: Why must your family be *Ross*?